Why have we, as a society, developed such a rabid fear of facing the consequences of our actions? Not all individuals are like that, of course, but far too many are! Every day I hear people at work (customer or coworkers) who claim that they should not have to face the consequences brought about by what they have chosen to do.
Isn’t that something we learned as children?
I think I am sliding into what promises/threatens to be a very deep depression. I can feel it coming and I really don’t know if I have the energy to fight against it.
Last night the grove had our Samhain observance. The ritual went very, very well and we had twelve people attending. Not a large group really, but not a bad number. Four of the people there were new, and I think they’ll be back; they seemed to enjoy the ritual quite a bit.
I just had someone here at work ask me who I was going to vote for. They wanted to know who I could vote for since I’m a “godless Pagan” and both the candidates – according to this person – want “my kind” removed from the country.
I’m not sure if I should laugh in contempt or cry in despair at the stupidity of some people.
Nothing like being stuck at home with an unexpected sinus condition to spawn some serious introspection. I have reached an unpleasant conclusion about my life: it bites. I am really tired of being alone. I just want to be able to share my life with someone. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, you see it all around. I don’t know why I can’t be one of those people who has someone in his life to be there for him and to be there for.
Of course, much of this self-pity-fest is due to the fact that I get rather pathetic and maudlin when I get sick.
I am now off work until next Wednesday. This is a very long weekend for me to attend DragonCon. I am looking forward to this. I could really use a good four-day period of fun.
Lately I have been having a recurring dream. Actually, it’s not the same dream, but it’s dream after dream after dream all featuring the same sort of event. In these dreams, I’m driving my car and I run a red light. Each time I do this, an accident occurs. Sometimes the accident involves my car and another, sometimes only my car is involved (hitting a pole or running off the road), and sometimes only another car is involved.
I have no idea what this means and why I’m having this sort of dreams. I am a careful driver and I do not run red lights.
That’s not true: I DO have an idea of why I might be having these dreams. In March my car was hit by someone who ran a red light. The damage was merely cosmetic and no one was hurt, so I didn’t think much about it. I am wondering now if perhaps this has something to do with the dreams.
Since getting some disturbing news from a friend, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the people in my life.Â Â As I tend to have moments of deep introspection, this has been some intense thought.Â I’ve been looking at the peopleÂ who are truly important to meÂ and the places they hold in my life.
Karl — my oldest friend and the person with whom I am closer than anyone else.Â It’s odd that he and I would have ever become friends, because the setting in which we originally met was not conducive to our ever getting to truly know one another, and certainly not conducive to building a strong bond of friendship.Â Yet we did, and that friendship has been of the most important in my life.
Sam and Cyn — family.Â My friendship with this couple is comfortable and reliable.Â These people are family, be we genetically related or not.Â Â I can’t imagine not having them in my life.Â I don’t get to see them as much as I would like, but I know they are always there for me.Â
Rick and Elizabeth — family of a different sort.Â One is the sibling you hated in childhood and love as adults.Â The other is the strange cousin you fight with when you’re together, apologize to immediately, and miss when you don’t see one another.
David and Chad — I started out as friends with David.Â We have almost everything in common; we even come from the same small town.Â He is one of the dearest people I know.Â His husband Chad became my friend just because he was with David.Â That didn’t last.Â Though we have little in common, we found that we really like one another.Â I know I can count on both of these friends no matter what.
Keith — I’ve only known Keith for less than two years, but in that time he has become one of the most important people to ever enter my life.Â Not only do I like him and enjoy spending time with him, but I have no doubts of my ability to count on him.Â This someone I know would never willingly or knowingly do anything against my best interests.
I sometimes can’t believe how amazingly fortunate I am to have these people in my life.Â Now.…if only things can be worked out so that we don’t lose one of them.
I really need to work on keeping this blog more current! I’m going to try. No promises other than that I’ll do what I can. (Not that many people read this thing, so most of this is directed toward myself.)
Lots has been happening lately, most of it insane. <g> My job continues to be far too much stress and responsibility for far too little money. My work on ADF’s Clergy Training Program is going much slower than I would like…but still faster than what other people are doing. I guess I continue to expect too much of myself.
In a couple of weeks I will be flying to California to visit my friend Karl. We haven’t seen one another in several years, although we talk three or four times a week. (Being on the same cellular network has its advantages!)
Okay…just got some bad news, not sure how to react to it. I’ll post more later.
I just spoke with my doctor. It turns out that the tests I thought I was going to have to have — based on the results I got yesterday — do not need to be done. The letter was merely badly phrased and he was recommending that I follow up with routine testing. Nothing special is needed.
The ambiguity on the results was — as my doctor put it — due to the fact that I am a “walking violation of the laws of probabilty.”