Dreams

Late­ly I have been hav­ing a recur­ring dream.  Actu­al­ly, it’s not the same dream, but it’s dream after dream after dream all fea­tur­ing the same sort of event.  In these dreams, I’m dri­ving my car and I run a red light.  Each time I do this, an acci­dent occurs.  Some­times the acci­dent involves my car and anoth­er, some­times only my car is involved (hit­ting a pole or run­ning off the road), and some­times only anoth­er car is involved.

I have no idea what this means and why I’m hav­ing this sort of dreams.  I am a care­ful dri­ver and I do not run red lights. 

That’s not true:  I DO have an idea of why I might be hav­ing these dreams.  In March my car was hit by some­one who ran a red light.  The dam­age was mere­ly cos­met­ic and no one was hurt, so I didn’t think much about it.  I am won­der­ing now if per­haps this has some­thing to do with the dreams.

Posted on August 4th 2008 by James

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Some­times there are moments in life that just plain suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on August 1st 2008 by James

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Friends

Since get­ting some dis­turb­ing news from a friend, I’ve been doing a lot of think­ing about the peo­ple in my life.  As I tend to have moments of deep intro­spec­tion, this has been some intense thought. I’ve been look­ing at the peo­ple who are tru­ly impor­tant to me and the places they hold in my life.

Karl — my old­est friend and the per­son with whom I am clos­er than any­one else. It’s odd that he and I would have ever become friends, because the set­ting in which we orig­i­nal­ly met was not con­ducive to our ever get­ting to tru­ly know one anoth­er, and cer­tain­ly not con­ducive to build­ing a strong bond of friendship. Yet we did, and that friend­ship has been of the most impor­tant in my life.

Sam and Cyn — family. My friend­ship with this cou­ple is com­fort­able and reliable. These peo­ple are fam­i­ly, be we genet­i­cal­ly relat­ed or not.  I can’t imag­ine not hav­ing them in my life. I don’t get to see them as much as I would like, but I know they are always there for me.Â

Rick and Eliz­a­beth — fam­i­ly of a dif­fer­ent sort. One is the sib­ling you hat­ed in child­hood and love as adults. The oth­er is the strange cousin you fight with when you’re togeth­er, apol­o­gize to imme­di­ate­ly, and miss when you don’t see one anoth­er.

David and Chad — I start­ed out as friends with David. We have almost every­thing in com­mon; we even come from the same small town. He is one of the dear­est peo­ple I know. His hus­band Chad became my friend just because he was with David. That didn’t last. Though we have lit­tle in com­mon, we found that we real­ly like one another. I know I can count on both of these friends no mat­ter what.

Kei­th — I’ve only known Kei­th for less than two years, but in that time he has become one of the most impor­tant peo­ple to ever enter my life. Not only do I like him and enjoy spend­ing time with him, but I have no doubts of my abil­i­ty to count on him. This some­one I know would nev­er will­ing­ly or know­ing­ly do any­thing against my best inter­ests.

I some­times can’t believe how amaz­ing­ly for­tu­nate I am to have these peo­ple in my life. Now.…if only things can be worked out so that we don’t lose one of them.

Â

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Posted on April 5th 2008 by James

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I still exist

I real­ly need to work on keep­ing this blog more cur­rent! I’m going to try. No promis­es oth­er than that I’ll do what I can. (Not that many peo­ple read this thing, so most of this is direct­ed toward myself.)

Lots has been hap­pen­ing late­ly, most of it insane. <g> My job con­tin­ues to be far too much stress and respon­si­bil­i­ty for far too lit­tle mon­ey. My work on ADF’s Cler­gy Train­ing Pro­gram is going much slow­er than I would like…but still faster than what oth­er peo­ple are doing. I guess I con­tin­ue to expect too much of myself.

In a cou­ple of weeks I will be fly­ing to Cal­i­for­nia to vis­it my friend Karl. We haven’t seen one anoth­er in sev­er­al years, although we talk three or four times a week. (Being on the same cel­lu­lar net­work has its advan­tages!)

Okay…just got some bad news, not sure how to react to it. I’ll post more lat­er.

Posted on April 4th 2008 by James

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Clarification

I just spoke with my doc­tor.  It turns out that the tests I thought I was going to have to have — based on the results I got yes­ter­day — do not need to be done.  The let­ter was mere­ly bad­ly phrased and he was rec­om­mend­ing that I fol­low up with rou­tine test­ing.  Noth­ing spe­cial is need­ed.

The ambi­gu­i­ty on the results was — as my doc­tor put it — due to the fact that I am a “walk­ing vio­la­tion of the laws of prob­a­bilty.”

Posted on September 19th 2007 by James

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Today’s test

Well, today I had my prostate biop­sy.  It was one of the worst expe­ri­ences I have ever had.  The after­math is even worse, as it has con­tin­ued to become more and more painful as the day has worn on.

Also, I got the results of last week’s colonoscopy and they were ambigu­ous enough to war­rant anoth­er series of tests.  I am not hap­py about this. 

Posted on September 18th 2007 by James

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One more down

Well, I had the sur­gi­cal colonoscopy today.  I bare­ly remem­ber any of the pro­ce­dure.  The drugs I was giv­en were to put me into a twi­light sleep, and they appar­ent­ly worked rather well.  I remem­ber being wheeled into the oper­at­ing room and giv­en the drugs.  I remem­ber a few iso­lat­ed flash­es of the pro­ce­dure but noth­ing more.

I was for­tu­nate to have a very good friend who drove me to and from and took care of me while I was too woozy from the drugs to func­tion prop­er­ly. 

Posted on September 11th 2007 by James

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Test tomorrow

Tomor­row I have a sur­gi­cal colonoscopy.  This should be the next to last test I have to have for all this mess.  Next week I have a biop­sy.

I am not doing ter­ri­bly well fac­ing this event tomor­row.  But I’ll get through it.  It’s not as if I have a choice in that.

Posted on September 10th 2007 by James

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No good news goes undestroyed

I had start­ed feel­ing good about the med­ical sit­u­a­tion.  My mis­take.

A fol­low-up vis­it yes­ter­day end­ed with my being sched­uled for a prostate biop­sy. 

Back to “ter­ri­fied-mode”. 

Posted on August 24th 2007 by James

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Some test results

My doc­tor called me late yes­ter­day.  The results of the bone scan and MRI are in.

Noth­ing neg­a­tive was found.  They found some­thing “odd” on the bone scan but noth­ing that could pos­si­bly have any dan­ger­ous prop­er­ties.  And a blood ves­sel lesion was found on my liv­er.  This is appar­ent­ly some­thing rather com­mon, and is noth­ing to wor­ry about.

The next major set of tests is in a cou­ple of weeks.  That one is sur­gi­cal in nature and should be the final deter­mi­nant in this whole thing.

Posted on August 21st 2007 by James

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